Source Text: JUNO3.2Joxer: Be God, they must be all out; I was thinkin' there was somethin' up when he didn't answer the signal. We seen Juno an' Mary goin', but I didn't see him, an' it's very seldom he escapes me.
Nugent: He's not goin' to escape me -- he's not goin' to be let go to the fair altogether.
Joxer: Sure, the house couldn't hould them lately; an' he goin' about like a mastherpiece of the Free State counthry; forgettin' their friends; forgettin' God -- wouldn't even lift his hat passin' a chapel! Sure they were bound to get a dhrop! An' you really think there's no money comin' to him afther all?
Nugent: Not as much as a red rex, man; I've been a bit anxious this long time over me money, an' I went up to the solicitor's to find our all I could -- ah, man, they were goin' to throw me down the stairs. They toul' me that the oul' cock himself had the stairs worn away comin' up afther it, an' they black in the face tellin' him he'd get nothin'. Some way or another that the Will is writ he won't be entitled to get as much as a make!
Joxer: Ah, I thought there was somethin' curious about the whole thing; I've bin havin' sthrange dhreams for the last couple o' weeks. An' I notice that that Bentham fella doesn't be comin' here now -- there must be somethin' on the mat there too. Anyhow, who, in the name o' God, ud leave anythin' to that oul' bummer? Sure it ud be unnatural. An' the way Juno an' him's been throwin' their weight about for the last few months! Ah, him that goes a borrowin' goes a sorrowin'!
Nugent: Well, he's not goin' to throw his weight about in the suit I made for him much longer. I'm tellin' you seven pouns aren't to be found growin' on the bushes these days.
Joxer: An' there isn't hardly a neighbour in the whole street that hasn't lent him money on the strength of what he was goin' to get, but they're after backing the wrong horse. Wasn't it a mercy o' God that I'd nothin' to give him! The softy I am, you know, I'd ha' lent him me last juice! I must have had somebody's good prayers. Ah, afther all, an honest man's the noblest work o' God!
Joxer: Whisht, damn it, he must be inside in bed.
Nugent: Inside o' bed or outside of it, he's goin' to pay me for that suit, or give it back -- he'll not climb up my back as easily as he thinks.
Joxer: Gwan in at wanst, man, an' get it off him, an' don't be a fool.
Nugent: Ah, don't disturb yourself, Mr. Boyle; I hope you're not sick?
Boyle: Th' oul' legs, Mr. Nugent, the oul' legs.
Nugent: I just called over to see if you could let me have anything off the suit?
Boyle: E-e-e-eh, how much is this it is?
Nugent: It's the same as it was at the start -- seven pouns.
Boyle: I'm glad you kem, Mr. Nugent; I want a good heavy top-coat -- Irish frieze, if you have it. How much would a top-coat like that be, now?
Nugent: About six pouns.
Boyle: Six pouns -- six an' seven is thirteen -- that'll be thirteen pouns I'll owe you.
Nugent: You'll owe me no thirteen pouns. Maybe you think you're betther able to owe it than pay it!
Boyle: Here, come back to hell ower that -- where're you goin' with them clothes o' mine?
Nugent: Where am I goin' with them clothes o' yours? Well, I like your damn cheek!
Boyle: Here, what am I goin' to dhress meself in when I'm goin' out?
Nugent: What do I care what you dhress yourself in! You can put yourself in a bolsther cover, if you like.
Joxer: What'll he dhress himself in! Gentleman Jack an' his frieze coat!
Boyle: Ey, Nugent; ey, Mr. Nugent, Mr. Nugent!
Joxer: What's up, what's wrong, Captain?
Boyle: Nugent's been here an' took away me suit -- the only things I had to go out in!
Joxer: Tuk your suit -- for God's sake! An' what were you doin' while he was takin' them?
Boyle: I was in bed when he stole in like a thief in the night, an' before I knew even what he was thinkin' of, he whipped them from the chair an' was off like a redshank!
Joxer: An' what, in the name o' God, did he do that for?
Boyle: What did he do it for? How the hell do I know what he done it for? -- jealousy an' spite, I suppose.
Joxer: Did he not say what he done it for?
Boyle: Amn't I afther tellin' you that he had them whipped up an' was gone before I could open me mouth?
Joxer: That was a very sudden thing to do; there mus' be somethin' behin' it. Did he hear anythin', I wondher?
Boyle: Did he hear anythin'? -- you talk very queer, Joxer -- what could he hear?
Joxer: About you not gettin' the money, in some way or t'other?
Boyle: An' what ud prevent me from gettin' th' money?
Joxer: That's jus' what I was thinkin' -- what ud prevent you from gettin' the money -- nothin', as far as I can see.
Boyle: Aw, holy God!
Joxer: What's up, Jack?
Boyle: He must have afther lifted the bottle o' stout that Juno left on the table!
Joxer: Ah no, ah no; he wouldn't be afther doin' that now.
Boyle: An' who done it then? Juno left a bottle o' stout here, an' it's gone -- it didn't walk, did it?
Joxer: Oh, that's shockin'; ah, man's inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn!
Mrs. Madigan: I hope I'm not disturbin' you in any discussion on your forthcomin' legacy -- if I may use the word -- an' that you'll let me have a barny for a minute or two with you, Mr. Boyle.
Boyle: To be sure, Mrs. Madigan -- an oul' friend's always welcome.
Joxer: Come in the evenin', come in th' mornin'; come when you're assed, or come without warnin', Mrs. Madigan.
Boyle: Sit down, Mrs. Madigan.
Mrs. Madigan: Th' few words I have to say can be said standin'. Puttin' aside all formularies, I suppose you remember me lendin' you some time ago three pouns that I raised on blankets an' furniture in me uncle's?
Boyle: I remember it well. I have it recorded in me book -- three pouns five shillings from Maisie Madigan, raised on articles pawned; an', item: fourpence, given to make up the price of a pint, on th' principle that no bird ever flew on wan wing; all to be repaid at par, when the ship comes home.
Mrs. Madigan: Well, ever since I shoved in the blankets I've been perishing with th' cowld, an' I've decided, if I'll be too hot in th' next' world aself, I'm not goin' to be too cowld in this wan; an' consequently, I want me three pouns, if you please.
Boyle: This is a very sudden demand, Mrs. Madigan, an' can't be met; but I'm willin' to give you a receipt in full, in full.
Mrs. Madigan: Come on, out with th' money, an' don't be jack-actin'.
Boyle: You can't get blood out of a turnip, can you?
Mrs. Madigan: Gimme me money, y'oul' reprobate, or I'll shake the worth of it out of you!
Boyle: Ey, houl' on, there; houl' on, there! You'll wait for your money now, me lassie!
Mrs. Madigan: I'll wait for it, will I? Well, I'll not wait long; if I can't get th' cash, I'll get th' worth of it.
Boyle: Ey, ey, there, wher'r you goin' with that?
Mrs. Madigan: I'm goin' to th' pawn to get me three quid five shillings; I'll brin' you th' ticket, an' then you can do what you like, me bucko.
Boyle: You can't touch that, you can't touch that! It's not my property, an' it's not ped for yet!
Mrs. Madigan: So much th' better. It'll be an ayse to me conscience, for I'm takin' what doesn't belong to you. You're not goin' to be swankin' it like a paycock with Maisie Madigan's money -- I'll pull some o' th' gorgeous feathers out o' your tail!
Boyle: What's th' world comin' to at all? I ass you, Joxer Daly, is there any morality left anywhere?
Joxer: I wouldn't ha' believed it, only I seen it with me own two eyes. I didn't think Maisie Madigan was that sort of woman; she has either a sup taken, or she's heard somethin'.
Boyle: Heard somethin' -- about what, if it's not any harm to ass you?
Joxer: She must ha' heard some rumour or other that you weren't goin' to get th' money.
Boyle: Who says I'm not goin' to get th' money?
Joxer: Sure, I don't know -- I was only sayin'.
Boyle: Only sayin' what?
Joxer: Nothin'.
Boyle: You were goin' to say somethin' -- don't be a twisther.
Joxer: Who's a twisther?
Boyle: Why don't you speak your mind, then?
Joxer: You never twisted yourself -- no, you wouldn't know how!
Boyle: Did you ever know me to twist; did you ever know me to twist?
Joxer: Did you ever do anythin' else! Sure, you can't believe a word that comes out o' your mouth.
Boyle: Here, get out, ower o' this; I always knew you were a prognosticator an' a procrastinator!
Joxer: The anchor's weighed, farewell, ree...mem...ber... me. Jacky Boyle, Esquire, infernal rogue an' damned liar.
Johnny: Joxer an' you at it agen? -- when are you goin' to have a little respect for yourself, an' not be always makin' a show of us all?
Boyle: Are you goin' to lecture me now?
Johnny: Is mother back from the doctor yet, with Mary?