Source Text: JUNO1.6Juno: Oh, you're in -- you must have been only afther comin' in?
Boyle: No, I never went out.
Juno: It's curious, then, you never heard the knockin'.
Boyle: Knockin'? Of course I heard the knockin'.
Juno: An' why didn't you open the door, then? I suppose you were so busy with Joxer that you hadn't time.
Boyle: I haven't seen Joxer since I seen him before. Joxer! What ud bring Joxer here?
Juno: D'ye mean to tell me that the pair of yous wasn't collogin' together here when me back was turned?
Boyle: What ud we be collogin' about? I have somethin' else to think of besides collogin' with Joxer. I can swear on all the holy prayer-books...
Mrs. Boyle: That you weren't in no snug! Go on in at wanst now, an' take off that moleskin trousers o' yours, an' put on a collar an' tie to smarten yourself up a bit. There's a visitor comin' with Mary in a minute, an' he has great news for you.
Boyle: A job, I suppose; let us get wan first before we start lookin' for another.
Mrs. Boyle: That's the thing that's able to put the win' up you. Well, it's no job, but news that'll give you the chance o' your life.
Boyle: What's all the mysthery about?
Mrs. Boyle: G'win an' take off the moleskin trousers when you're told!
Mrs. Boyle: Oh, God bless us, looka the way everything's thrun about! Oh, Joxer was here, Joxer was here!
Mrs. Boyle: Come in, Mr. Bentham; sit down, Mr. Bentham, in this chair; it's more comfortabler than that, Mr. Bentham. Himself'll be here in a minute; he's just takin' off his trousers.
Mary: Mother!
Bentham: Please don't put yourself to any trouble, Mrs. Boyle -- I'm quite all right here, thank you.
Mrs. Boyle: An' to think of you knowin' Mary, an' she knowin' the news you had for us, an' wouldn't let on; but it's all the more welcomer now, for we were on our last lap!
Johnny: What are you kickin' up all the racket for?
Boyle: I'm takin' off me moleskin trousers!
Johnny: Can't you do it, then, without lettin' th' whole house know you're takin' off your trousers? What d'ye want puttin' them on an' takin' them off again?
Boyle: Will you let me alone, will you let me alone? Am I never goin' to be done thryin' to please th' whole o' yous?
Mrs. Boyle: You must excuse th' state o' th' place, Mr. Bentham; th' minute I turn me back that man o' mine always makes a litther o' th' place, a litther o' th' place.
Bentham: Don't worry, Mrs. Boyle; it's all right, I assure...
Boyle: Where's me braces; where in th' name o' God did I leave me braces? -- Ay, did you see where I put me braces?
Johnny: Ma, will you come in here an' take da away ou' o' this or he'll dhrive me mad.
Mrs. Boyle: Dear, dear, dear, that man'll be lookin' for somethin' on th' day o' Judgement. Look at your braces, man, hangin' round your neck!
Boyle: Aw, Holy God!
Mrs. Boyle: Johnny, Johnny, come out here for a minute.
Johnny: Ah, leave Johnny alone, an' don't be annoyin' him!
Mrs. Boyle: Come on, Johnny, till I inthroduce you to Mr. Bentham. My son, Mr. Bentham; he's afther goin' through the mill. He was only a chiselur of a Boy Scout in Easter Week, when he got hit in the hip; and his arm was blew off in the fight in O'Connell Street. Here he is, Mr. Bentham; Mr. Bentham, Johnny. None can deny he done his bit for Irelan', if that's goin' to do him any good.
Johnny: I'd do it agen, ma, I'd do it agen; for a principle's a principle.
Mrs. Boyle: Ah, you lost your best principle, me boy, when you lost your arm; them's the only sort o' principle that's any good to a workin' man.
Johnny: Ireland only half free'll never be at peace while she has a son left to pull a trigger.
Mrs. Boyle: To be sure, to be sure -- no bread's a lot betther than half a loaf. Will you hurry up there?
Mrs. Boyle: This is my husband; Mr. Boyle, Mr. Bentham.
Bentham: Ah, very glad to know you, Mr. Boyle. How are you?
Boyle: Ah, I'm not too well at all; I suffer terrible with pains in me legs. Juno can tell you there what...
Mrs. Boyle: You won't have many pains in your legs when you hear what Mr. Bentham has to tell you.
Bentham: Juno! What an interesting name! It reminds one of Homer's glorious story of ancient gods and heroes.
Boyle: Yis, doesn't it? You see, Juno was born an' christened in June; I met her in June; we were married in June, an' Johnny was born in June, so wan day I says to her, 'You should ha' been called Juno,' an' the name stuck to her ever since.
Mrs. Boyle: Here, we can talk o' them things agen; let Mr. Bentham say what he has to say now.
Bentham: Well, Mr. Boyle, I suppose you'll remember a Mr. Ellison of Santry -- he's a relative of yours, I think.
Boyle: Is it that prognosticator an' procrastinator! Of course I remember him.
Bentham: Well, he's dead, Mr. Boyle...
Boyle: Sorra many'll go into mournin' for him.
Mrs. Boyle: Wait till you hear what Mr. Bentham has to say, an' then, maybe, you'll change your opinion.
Bentham: A week before he died he sent for me to write his will for him. He told me that there were two only that he wished to leave his property to : his second cousin, Michael Finnegan of Santry, and John Boyle, his first cousin, of Dublin.
Boyle: Me, is it me, me?
Bentham: You, Mr. Boyle; I'll read a copy of the will that I have here with me, which has been duly filed in the Court of Probate. 6th February 1922 This is the last Will and Testament of William Ellison, of Santry, in the County of Dublin. I hereby order and wish my property to be sold and divided as follows : -- 20 pounds to the St. Vincent de Paul Society. 60 pounds for Masses for the repose of my soul (5s. for each Mass). The rest of my property to be divided between my first and second cousins. I hereby appoint Timothy Buckly, of Santry, and Hugh Brierly, of Coolock, to be my Executors. William Ellison. Hugh Brierly. Timothy Buckly. Charles Bentham, N.T.
Boyle: An' how much'll be comin' out of it, Mr. Bentham?
Bentham: The Executors told me that half of the property would be anything between 1500 and 2000 pounds.
Mary: A fortune, father, a fortune!
Johnny: We'll be able to get out o' this place now, an' go somewhere we're not known.
Mrs. Boyle: You won't have to trouble about a job for awhile, Jack.
Boyle: I'll never doubt the goodness o' God agen.
Bentham: I congratulate you, Mr. Boyle.
Boyle: An' now, Mr. Bentham, you'll have to have a wet.
Bentham: A wet?
Boyle: A wet -- a jar -- a boul!
Mrs. Boyle: Jack, you're speakin' to Mr. Bentham, an' not to Joxer.
Boyle: Juno -- Mary -- Johnny -- we'll have to go into mournin' at wanst -- I never expected that poor Bill ud die so sudden -- Well, we all have to die some day -- you, Juno, to-day -- an' me, maybe, to-morrow -- It's sad, but it can't be helped -- Requiescat in pace -- or, usin' our oul' tongue like St. Patrick or St. Bridget, Guh sayeree jeea ayera!
Mary: Oh, father, that's not Rest in Peace; that's God save Ireland.
Boyle: U-u-ugh, it's all the same -- isn't it a prayer? -- Juno, I'm done with Joxer; he's nothin' but a prognosticator an' a...
Joxer: You're done with Joxer, are you? Maybe you thought I'd stop on the roof all the night for you! Joxer out on the roof with the win' blowin' through him was nothin' to you an' your friend with the collar an' tie!
Mrs. Boyle: What in the name o' God brought you out on the roof; what were you doin' there?
Joxer: I was dhreamin' I was standin' on the bridge of a ship, an' she sailin' the Antartic Ocean, an' it blowed, an' blowed, an' I lookin' up at the sky an' sayin', what is the stars, what is the stars?
Mrs. Boyle: Here, get ou' o' this, Joxer Daly; I was always thinkin' you had a slate off.
Joxer: I have to laugh every time I look at the deep-sea sailor; an' a row on a river ud make him seasick!
Boyle: Get ou' o' this before I take the law into me own hands!
Joxer: Say aw rewaeawr, but not good-bye. Lookin' for work, an' prayin' to God he won't get it!
Mrs. Boyle: I'm tired tellin' you what Joxer was; maybe now you see yourself the kind he is.
Boyle: He'll never blow the froth off a pint o' mine agen, that's a sure thing. Johnny -- Mary -- you're to keep yourselves to yourselves for the future. Juno, I'm done with Joxer -- I'm a new man from this out. -- O, me darlin' Juno, I will be thrue to thee; Me own, me darlin' Juno, you're all the world to me.