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Tuesday, July 8, 2003

Even worse today. -$58.25. Annabella's tank is empty, and my cell phone bill was due today. Poor Annabella doesn't get to go anywhere for at least the rest of the week, maybe longer. I can't stand this. But I don't want to feel any better about it either... I feel so guilty. If I didn't have debt, I could be spending the copious amounts of money that I'm making on rent and groceries and paying Chris back for helping me get my car.

I wish that things had gone according to my original plan. But I was being way too optimistic. To think that I would be able to go to school and not really have to worry about money (except working part-time for car and food expenses). But I won't be able to pay off my credit cards before school. :-( I'll do anything to fix it - I wish I could just start over.

Monday, July 7, 2003

Everything is a mess. Well, not everything. Just me doing even more poorly with finances. Thanks to a combination of my stupidity and the bank's evil policies, I have been charged 9 overdraft fees, plus the $22 advance direct deposit fees for borrowing money for five minutes. The banker waived half of my overdraft fees, but that's still $135. I feel miserable. I want to curl up and... well, just cry. Maybe disappear a little. I feel ashamed.

Tuesday, July 1, 2003

I feel pretty amazing right now. All morning, I've been given little reminders of all the wonderful things about my life. (A nice contrast to my recent fretting.)

Getting to gush to my friends about my wonderful fiance reminds me how lucky I am to be with him... Less than two months until classes!!! And until then, I have a well-paying temp job at Principal... Saw Steve H. during lunch today. They miss me. :-) Weird how he didn't have any qualms about telling me Linda's shortcomings... I have a car! A 2000 Ford Focus named Annabella. Chris likes it too.

Have to fret a little though. Money is evil. I've screwed up a lot... to the point where I'll be working as many hours as I can at a part-time job just to make minimum payments on my credit cards. Hopefully still having lots of time for homework. I don't know if I can do it. :-( I'm scared, and I feel hopeless. I've learned my lesson, but I wish someone could have told me before I did it. Maybe they should have a class in personal financial planning in high school.

Happy anyway. I just got sent home for the day. :-)