by David Faden
June 18, 2002
She whaps him over the head with a pizza box. "my crazy gf just hit me w/ a pizza box," he types.
She smiles. He doesn't turn around. She puffs out her lower lip. "Honey," she says, her tone rising, "pay attention to me." She speaks to the back of his head.
"she wants me to 'pay attention' to her," he types.
"loco!!!" replies mojo01.
"talk to her man," replies frodo238. "i wish i had a gf."
She drops the pizza box. She looks out the window. A car drives past. She can't hear its motor for the whir of the cooling fans. A robin flaps down to the ground. It begins poking around in the weeds between the sidewalk and the street. The curb is painted yellow. A styrofoam cup lies against the curb. It begins to rattle in the breeze. It rolls down the street.
"no, ya gotta ignore her for a while," replies mojo01. "play hard to get. otherwise she'll be bothering you all the time."
"wtf man," replies frodo238. "i thought hard to get was for girls."
"what would u know???" replies mojo01.
"why don't you pay attention to her?" replies sanguine99.
"i might miss a great conversation like this," he types. "no no just joking. i don't know. i just don't like having people boss me around."
"why'd she hit you with the pizza box?" replies sanguine99.
"i don't know. oh, crap. i promised to take her out for breakfast. and then i was sort of ignoring her."
"oh you f-d up big time man," replies frodo238.
"just tell her you love her or somethin," replies mojo01. "chicks dig that crap."
"have you talked to her at all this morning?" replies sanguine99.
"not really. she was still snoozing when i logged on here."
She rubs her forehead with her right hand. Another car drives past. She scratches her neck. A kid bikes down the sidewalk. The robin flies away. She looks back to him.
"Robert," she says. His chair creaks. "Ro-bert." She stresses each syllable. "Ro-bert. Ro-bert. Robert" She sighs.
"god. now she's saying my name over and over again," Robert types. "it's freaking annoying."
"why don't you TALK to her?" replies sanguine99.
"yeah man," replies frodo238.
"don't do it," replies mojo01. "you'll regret it later. trust me."
"I bet mojo01 doesn't even have a gf," replies frodo238.
"Hey, fuck you, you loser!!!" replies mojo01.
"mojo01 kicked for language," replies bot16.
Robert hears the door close. "Sara?" he says. He turns.
"crap! she just left," he types.
"you f-ing moron," replies frodo238.
He gets up from his chair and walks to the window. He watches her walk away. He sighs. He looks down to the pizza box then back to the window. A Ford compact drives past. A bird lands in the weeds between the sidewalk and the road. It pulls up a worm.
He walks back to the computer.
"yep, she's gone," he types.
"don't worry," replies mojo02. "she'll be back. i know."
"do you?" he types.
"of course i do."