• Orange Bears Are Fighting Giant Killer Monkeys --- Sarah Gregg

• Over Break A Former Girlfriend Kicked Me --- Callie Snead

• Over Breakfast Aunt Fran Gave Kim Muffins --- Stephanie Jiles

• My Kind Grandmother Forgets About Birthdays Often --- Sarah Gregg (again!)

Previous Winners

Fall 2004

Objective Biases Are Finally Going (to) Kill Me --- Jacob Cantu

Orion's Belt Always Frays; Get Knitting Materials! --- Ryne Peterson

Only Better Attendance Formulates Getting Kawaler-like Mastery --- Jacob Cantu

Oh Boy! Another Farm-Grown Killer Meal --- Jacob Cantu (again)

Fall 2000

More Kangaroos Guzzle Fosters After Boring Olympics --- Phillip Marsh

Oh, Be Anna, Find Guy, Kill, Millions --- Emily Bollinger

Oh! Blow Another Field Goal, Kicker Man --- Case Brendeland

Fall 1997

Only Bad Anglers Fish with Gross Kwiktrip Minnows --- Matt Wiebers

My Knowledge Gained From Astronomy Baffles Others --- Ted Aalbers & Brian Archer

One Brilliant Astronaut Found Giant Killer Martians --- Brittany Jones

Spring 1997

Outgoing Boys And Flirtatious Girls Keep Mating --- BillieJo Stallsmith

My Killer Goat Farted After Breakfast Oatmeal --- Regina Smith

Spring 1996

Mickey Killed Goofy For A Body Organ --- Eric Kaufman

Only Brahe's Astronomy Finally Gave Kepler Measurements --- Matt Froeschle

Spring 1995

OJ Believes Another Freakin' Guy Killed Mrs. --- Angela Irwin

Old Buddies And Friends, Great Kodak Moments --- John Kennedy

Fall 1993

Oven Baked Apples From Grandma's Kitchen. Mmmm --- Steve Burke

One Bad Astronomer Forgot Galileo Knew Much --- Michael Ehler

Our Big Astronomy Final Gives Kids Migranes --- Michael Ehler

Spring 1992

Order Burgers And Fries. Get Ketchup, Mel! --- Garry Baker

Fall 1990

Only Brave Astronomers Find Glorioulsly Kinky Mates --- Brian Lemberger